As I got off the bus I noticed 4 young men coming behind me,
laughing probably minding their own business with no ill intentions on their
minds. But I panicked. There is a short cut I use to get home from the bus
stage; the small dusty path is between a maize field and a school brick fence.
I am always conscious about any person walking behind me when I use that path,
I usually do side glances every second just to check if anyone is following me.
And just to stay safe I run to the end of the path till I am in the clear
again. I have probably always done this, unconsciously or not. I always feel
unsafe even in the day light when I am walking alone. But I use this path daily
and I panic every damn time.
So today I wondered, WHY AM I PANICKING?
Well I know the answers and the stories behind them. Stories
of young women being robbed, raped, sexually harassed, groped you name it all.
It all happens in dusty small unsafe paths like the one I use. But I use it anyways.
This is the reality of most young women, girls and women not only in Malawi but
all over Africa and the world. Somehow we don’t feel safe in the same world we
all live in. We are humans like anyone else, we pay our taxes, we do a lot of
the community development work, take care of everyone; family or not but
somehow the very same people we live and grow up with, the very same young men,
are a danger to us. And they can harm us at any point in our lives no matter
who we are. I find this very preposterous.
But it is the reality and I am told I have to live with it
and “prevent” it.
So this feeling and conversation in my head took me back to
a chat I had with one of my friends who came to visit, she is a journalist by
profession. She told me that one day when she was coming from lunch and walking
back to her office a man sexually harassed her. And I say sexually harassed
because in simple terms that’s what it was. Although she didn’t use that term
but that’s what he did. He plainly told her “Wachita mwayi wafika kale ku ofesi
kwako koma mavalidwe amenewa tizakuchindani nawo.” (Loosely translated to-“You
lucky you already near your office but this kind of dressing would get you
fucked.”) Now even the words he used are big offensive words you hear no one
say. People have more polite ways to say it but he meant it the exact way he
said it. He said it like that using that very offensive cursing word to get his
point through, the simple point that he has power. Period.
So I sit here and I ask myself, who gave all this power to
these men that they think they can throw around threats of raping girls in
broad day light with pride in their eyes? Somehow, somewhere things went wrong.
Because we have all these men around town sexually harassing women and have no
respect for the women’s bodies; they think (read know) they have the power to
do whatever they want with a woman’s body. My body. That thought alone sends
chills down my spine. I feel vulnerable, unsafe, unprotected, uncared for.
But it is the reality and I am told I have to live with it
and “prevent” it.
So am finally home, by the gate and I look back
as those four young men turn the other way, laughing, probably minding their
own business and with no clue how they just made me feel.
