WHERE DID WE LEAVE OUR YOUNG MEN???

I have had very interesting conversations for the past 2 weeks with young women in my life and I have also read a few thought-provoking blogs and poems that had me questioning whether strong independent women are only attractive on paper and no man really wants to be with one. One such poet who has captured my heart is Warsan Shire, she captures this matter very well (or maybe just to me..lol) in her poem titled “For women who are difficult to love” 

you are a horse running alone
and he tries to tame you
compares you to an impossible highway
to a burning house
says you are blinding him
that he could never leave you
forget you
want anything but you
you dizzy him, you are unbearable
every woman before or after you
is doused in your name
you fill his mouth
his teeth ache with memory of taste
his body just a long shadow seeking yours
but you are always too intense
frightening in the way you want him
unashamed and sacrificial
he tells you that no man can live up to the one who
lives in your head
and you tried to change didn't you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can't make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.

                                               

From the young women I have been talking to and even from my very own experience with young men I have dated it all seems men just cannot handle a strong independent woman. At first they seem to be more accommodating; they let you be yourself and still do things you love to do. But as time passes by they ask you to make adjustments and act like a ‘proper’ woman. Now am not saying there is anything wrong with making adjustments when you’re in a relationship but you know there are some ‘extreme’ demands that your man can make that makes you go like “Oh hell no, now he’s trying to control me” typa demands. Those are the ones am talking about. Now we (me and most of my friends) are the part of the born free generation, we grew up in a society that was shaking off the stronghold of patriarchy and where gender equality was part of normal conversations. We are the generation that fully appreciated the freedom of dressing, speech and the likes. Somehow I feel like somewhere somehow young men got left behind, I feel throughout the revolution of women rights from the Beijing Conference to the present it seems like we left men in the Stone Age because we are clearly not on the same page.  I am aware of how family background and socialization has a great impact on how a man will behave in a relationship. 

But putting that aside: DO YOU FEEL IN REALITY MEN ARE AFRAID OF STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMEN? 

Please share your thoughts and personal experiences (if you don’t mind but that would be of great help as I don’t want this to just be categorized as one of those feminist rants, my experience and yours are valid ).

                                       

                                                   “The type of man who will be intimidated by me

                                                    Is the exactly the type of man I have no interest in.”

                                                                                ChimamandaNgoziAdichie